Learning to Love Again
by Nighthunter97
Summary: It all begins the night of a party. What happens next is the unthinkable. Will Tris ever forgive Tobias for what happened? Or will their relationship lay in ruins forever? NOTE: This contains some sexual content.
1. Prologue

**Hey guys! What's up? This is my first story "Learning to Love Again" and I hope you enjoy it! -Nighthunter97**

Prologue

 **Tris POV**

It started when Tobias had a couple too many drinks. His breath had began to stink of alcohol, and he began acting strange. I was sure he wasn't going to remember anything in the morning, and that he was going to be grumpy as hell due to the hangover he was going to have. I could never have dreamed that he would do something as violating as he did that night. I tried to stop him, but he didn't stop. He was too strong.

In the middle of the night, long after Tobias had fallen asleep, I got up and I ran. I kept running. I didn't stop until I got to Christina's apartment. I knocked on the door. When she answered, she looked about ready to fight the person knocking, but her face softened when she saw it was me. I sobbed and collapsed onto the ground. She sank down on the ground and put her arms around me. Even though she didn't know what was wrong she still comforted me. I .At some point, she managed to move me to her couch.

The last thing I remember before falling asleep was the sound of Christina's whispers of reassurances in my ear.

 **I'm sorry it's so short, but I was so excited to get this out to you guys that I decided to leave as is. Besides, it leaves a bit of a cliffhanger. Now, what do you guys think Tobias did? If you know, I ask that you DO NOT say it in the reviews. Thanks! Hope you enjoyed!**


	2. Chapter 1

**New chapter up!I hope you enjoy this chapter! - Nighthunter97**

Chapter 1

 **Tris POV**

I wake up on Christina's couch and the events of the night before come back to me. Tears begin to come to my eyes. I shake my head and refuse to let the tears fall. I sit up, and see that Christina is sitting at her dining room table waiting for me. Standing up, I feel the worst pain in between my legs, a lingering reminder of what Tobias drunkenly took away from me

My knees buckle, and I fall right back onto the couch. I sob and bring my knees up against my chest. Christina is suddenly beside me, and wraps her arms around my shoulders. I lean my head on her shoulder. She continues to comfort me as I keep crying. As I'm crying, there is a knock on the door.

"Stay right here, okay? I'm going to go answer the door. When I come back, we'll make some breakfast." Christina murmurs to me as she unwraps herself from around my shoulders. I temporarily quit sobbing at the mention of food. She gets up and walks to the door. I stand up again and walk through the pain. It felt nearly impossible, and I collapsed in a dining room chair the second I got.

I nod. "Okay."

Christina answers the door and immediately starts yelling at the stranger.

"...she has been crying all morning, and so help me if you did something to her I will kick your ass." Christina stops for a second to catch her breath, and the person takes that opportunity to come running into the dining room. The familiar eyes dart around the room before zeroing in on me. I sharply intake a breath, ready to scream as the figure turns fully towards me. I was terrified out of my mind as Four breathed out in relief, and started walking towards me as if nothing happened.

"Tris I was so worried abo-" He began saying. I cut him off with a loud scream.

 **Wow, I wasn't expecting 13 views already on the first day! To be honest, I was expecting 2 or 3. Thank so much you guys! Next chapter will most likely be in Tobias' POV. Please review and give me some criticism and/or some ideas of where you want this story to head. I have a few possible routes planned out, but some reader ideas would be nice too! Hoped you enjoy this chapter, and beware, next chapter might have a bit of sexual content as Four remembers what he has done to Tris. Bye for now!**


	3. Chapter 2

**So I decided against putting this chapter in Tobias' POV, for reasons I won't try to explain. But 32 views on day 1?! I wasn't expecting that, but it inspired me to write another chapter for you guys tonight. This is the last chapter of the evening, so I hope you all enjoy! -Nighthunter97**

Chapter 2

 **Tris POV**

As I screamed, I could see the confusion in his eyes. He stopped walking towards me as I leaped up, ignoring the pain, and pressed my back against the wall. He looked hurt at my movement away from him.

"Tris, what happened? What happened last night? What did I do?" He whispered, looking scared at what he could've done.

Christina appeared behind him, glowering. "You clearly did something to hurt her, otherwise she wouldn't be ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of you." She glared at the back of his head. I was still backed against the wall, Tobias still as confused as ever, and Christina being my fierce protector. Tobias had had enough of the silence, and spoke up.

"Are we going to talk about this or not? I have initiates to train." He suddenly sounded pissed off. He actually thought we were wasting his time. He thought we were joking. He thought we were faking. Those thoughts sparked something in me, a fire I never knew I possessed. A fire to kill. In that moment, I went from a scared girl to a fierce fighter.

"You think we're joking." I said with a dangerous calm to my voice. In the back of my head, I was still terrified of standing up to Tobias. But front and center was the desire to yell at him until he understood what he put me through. Until he understood how much he hurt me.

He clearly sensed the dangerousness to my voice, as he replied with some of his own.

"Yes, I actually think you are. I honestly can't remember what I did to you."

"Well let me get you up to date, shall I?" I growled. "As I recall, you got a bit too drunk, and decided to take me as your own without my consent. Are you connecting the dots?" When I started talking, I sounded strong, but by the end, I sounded like a broken record.

The desire to fight was lost as the reality of the situation dawned on me. I was actually raped, but the worst part of all was the realization that it was actually Tobias who raped me.

 **So there we go! I apologize for any writing quality issues, as I am currently tired but wanted to get this chapter out to you guys. Thank you so much for reading the beginning of the story and I will hopefully update a couple more chapters tomorrow! Bye for now!**


	4. Chapter 3

**I feel TERRIBLE for not updating sooner and I apologize SO MUCH! My computer malfunctioned and wouldn't turn on at all. It turns out someone had taken the battery out of it. I am so sorry, and to apologize, I wrote this in Tobias' POV. Leave a review if you have any suggestions/comments about this story! Thanks and I'm sorry once again. -Nighthunter97**

Chapter 3

 **Tobias POV**

When I woke up that morning without Tris in my arms, I had freaked out. I immediately got up, threw on clothes, and ran out the door. I ran down to the mess hall and searched for a familiar blond head. Finding none, I bolted up to the training room expecting her to be punching the bags. Instead the bags were still, and there was nobody inside. I thought desperately through my head, which was now pounding through the hangover I had, and realized she must be with Christina. I internally facepalmed myself for not thinking about that earlier. Closing the training room door, I begin to jog towards Christina's apartment. I made it to Christina's apartment, but nothing could've prepared me for what was to happen when I opened the door.

"What did you do to her?! And so help me if you did do something to her, I will kick your ass." Christina stops to catch her breath, and I shove her out of the way, desperate to see Tris.

I look around the room and find her sitting in a dining room chair. I see her suck in a breath at my sudden appearance. I turn towards her, and seeing her unharmed, I breath out in relief. I begin walking towards her, and she stiffens.

"Tris, I was so worried abo-" I began to say, but I was cut off when Tris screamed.

I felt confused. Why was she acting like this? What could I possibly have done? I stopped walking towards her as she jumped off the chair she was sitting in, and felt helpless as she winced and pressed her back against the wall. I felt hurt that she would move away from me like that.

"Tris, what happened? What happened last night? What did I do?" I whispered, feeling as sad and helpless as ever.

I heard someone come up behind me.

"You clearly did something to hurt her, otherwise she wouldn't be ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of you." Christina snapped. It felt as if Christina was protecting Tris, and I was the one who did something to her. I began to get pissed off. Are they going to tell me what happened, or am I going to have to read their minds to figure it out?

"Are we going to talk about this or not? I have initiates to train." I didn't mean to sound so harsh, but it just came out that way.

Tris spoke for the first since I got here. "You think we're joking." She sounded deadly calm, but there was an edge to her voice that I didn't recognize. I then realized that the edge was dangerousness. She was challenging me.

"Yes, I actually think you are. I honestly can't remember what I did to you." I replied with some dangerousness in my tone.

She had a fire in her eyes that I had only seen one other time: when she fought Molly during her initiation.

"Well let me get you up to date, shall I?" She snapped. I was shocked, she normally didn't snap at me. "As I recall, you got a bit too drunk, and decided to take me as your own without my consent. Are you finally connecting the dots, FOUR?" I froze, finally piecing together what I had done. The fight left her eyes as the reality dawned on her too.

Tris was raped, but I was the one who raped her.


	5. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Thank you for the review Jen! For some odd reason FanFiction won't let the review show up! Argh, the frustration. I hope you enjoy this update! Please review if you have and suggestions/questions about the story. -Nighthunter97**

Chapter 4

 **Tris POV**

I sink to the ground as what I said sank into my boyfriend's mind. He gave a strangled gasp and ran from the apartment. The door slammed seconds later, and Christina ran over to me. She wrapped her arms around me as I broke down. The tears wouldn't stop running down my face for what felt like hours. When my eyes ran dry, Christina got up and got me a glass of water. I wrapped my hand around the cup as Christina began to speak.

"He really did that to you?" She said. She sounded appalled.

"He was drunk. He had too many drinks with Zeke-who was supposed to be monitoring him. Not exactly my idea of a first time." I managed to say, even though I was internally pouring my eyes out. "Do you have anything we can eat here? I don't want to leave. I don't want to risk seeing him anywhere."

"Yeah. After all, I did promise breakfast. What do you want? Pancakes?" She offered.

I nodded. In my head, I was thinking about how long it might take for me to recover. I didn't know if I was ever going to be able to forgive him. I was thinking about how I was ever going to forgive Tobias, and then I really began thinking about what he did to me…

 **Alright! So next chapter is going to be a flashback to what happened to Tris. So if you are uncomfortable with reading what happened, please skip to the next chapter. But for those who are really curious how Tris was feeling when Tobias stumbled in drunk, read on! Thank you for reading! Please review with your thoughts on the story or if you have and suggestions/question? And for now, goodbye! - Nighthunter97**


	6. Chapter 5

**Alright! The chapter where we get insight into what happened to Tris has arrived. It is a flashback as I mentioned at the end of the last chapter. (WARNING: IF YOU ARE YOUNG OR DO NOT WANT TO READ ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, SKIP TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!) This is in Tris' POV. I hope you enjoy this chapter! -Nighthunter97**

Chapter 5

 **Previously...**

I nodded. In my head, I was thinking about how long it might take for me to recover. I didn't know if I was ever going to be able to forgive him. I was thinking about how I was ever going to forgive Tobias, and then I really began thinking about what he did to me…

 __o_o_o_o_o_ **Flashback** __o_o_o_o_o_

 _I heard a thud against the door. I frowned, it must be Tobias. Hoping that he wasn't too drunk, I went and opened the door. He was leaning against the door, and toppled over as I opened it. Landing on the floor, he grinned up at me._

" _Heeeey Triiiiis." He said drunkenly. I groaned, he wasn't supposed to get this drunk. Zeke was supposed to be monitoring him, but I guess he got carried away too._

" _C'mon Tobias, let's get you in bed." I attempt to pull him up on his feet, but he topples over and pulls me down with him. His breath reeked of alcohol, proving how drunk he was._

" _Whydowehavetogotobed? He slurs. "We can just do it right heeeeeere."_

" _What?" I was confused. What was he talking about? He rolls over on top of me, pinning me to the ground. Whatever he's doing, I don't like it. "What are you doing?!" I exclaim._

 _I realize what he wanted and I take action. I try to pry him off me as he's trailing kisses down my neck._

" _No, stop, please. Tobias, please, I'm not ready for this." I beg. He fumbles with my shirt and manages to get it off me through my struggles. He moves his hands down to the waistband of my jeans, placing kisses in a trail down my stomach._

" _Stop it Tobias, stop, no!" I reach down to the belt loops on my jeans, grabbing hold of them as tightly as I can, but he's too strong. He pulls off my jeans, kissing me down my legs. When he gets to the end of my toes, he quickly moves up to my chest. As he's moving up, I shove him as hard as I can, he doesn't budge. He slides my left bra strap down as I continue to push myself away from him. He tugs on my right bra strap, snapping the elastic. My bra is now beginning to sag down so, he takes the opportunity to unsnap the hooks of my bra._

 _Bra falling to the floor, I am now extremely terrified. I bring my elbow up in a sharp uppercut, it hits his shoulder, but it doesn't stop him. If anything, it only encourages him to move faster. Before I know it, my underwear is off. I then hear a faint zipper noise, and a shifting of fabric. I know what comes next, I don't want it to happen, but I can't stop him. I scream as he lifts me up and places me on my knees, pushing the top of my back down so my palms lay flat on the ground._

 _I scream as I feel an agonizing pain that I've never felt before. I kept screaming as the pain never left. He kept mercilessly pushing in and out of me, as I screamed for him to stop. To possibly stop the pain. He didn't stop. I tried to push myself away from him, but he had my hips in an iron grip. By the time he had pulled himself out, I could barely move. I was sure that I would have bruises covering my skin tomorrow from my fruitless struggles and his tight grip. I just knew that I needed to get away from here. To get away from him. He was fast asleep, which gave me the opportunity to pull my clothes on through the agonizing pain, and crawl towards the open door. I finally get out, and I want to leave this place. I get up and run as fast as I can, ignoring the painful sensation between my legs. I finally find my way to Christina's apartment, and fell asleep to Christina's whispering._

 __o_o_o_o_o_ **End Flashback** __o_o_o_o_o_

 **Alrighty guys! If you chose to read this chapter, thank you for reading! I must give credit to my friend, who helped me out with this chapter! (She has a huge dirty mind ;D) So thank you all for reading! Please review if you like this chapter, and/or have a suggestion or question for the story! Thanks for reading! -Nighthunter97**


	7. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! New chapter! I noticed that I got 800 views last time I checked! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! Anyway, last chapter, we explored the details of what happened to Tris, and I advised younger readers to skip to this chapter. This chapter will be more appropriate. I hope you enjoy, and again, my friend is helping me with this chapter! - Nighthunter97**

Chapter 6

 **Christina POV**

"Tris, c'mon, you need to go get the clothes from your apartment!" I say, hoping there was some way I could convince her to walk around. It had been hours since Four showed up, and she still refused to move from her spot next to the wall. Every so often, she would begin to silently cry, and I would have to comfort her.

"I don't want to see him anywhere. I just can't without wanting to burst into tears and run." Tris whimpered, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"But you need clothes. If it helps, I will go with you and kick his ass if we see him." I say, hoping to cheer Tris up a bit with some humor. It works a little bit, and she smiles a little bit. The smile falters after a second, as she makes her decision.

"Fine, but you will keep watch at the door. If Four tries to get in, distract him while I pack my clothes." Tris says, clearly giving up.

"Deal." I grin.

~o~o~o~

We show up at Four's apartment, and Tris is shaking with fear. She gripped my hand as she put her hand on the doorknob. She shook it, and after realizing it was unlocked, took a deep breath and went inside. I prepared myself for a wait, and settled down in front of the door.

 **Tris POV**

I step inside, and immediately suck in a breath. There was.. blood.. on the floor. I shuddered for a few seconds, realizing why it was there, and stepped over it. I made my way up the small staircase, and went into the bedroom. Tears came to my eyes as I looked at the bed Tobias and I once shared. I shake my head, go to the closet, grab a bag, and stuff most of my things in it. I head into the bathroom and grab all of my bathroom items. I was about to leave the room when I look into the mirror.

I gasp when I see Tobias in the reflection. I shut my eyes, thinking I'm imagining it, and open them just to see him still standing there.

 **I know I'm evil. Don't bother telling me. I will update tomorrow, but I cannot say what time. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions. Thanks for reading! -Nighthunter97 and Friend.**

 **(Friend doesn't have an account, ^..^)**


	8. Chapter 7

**School is kicking my ass. I apologize for the VERY LONG WAIT. I know I'm supposed to be following the schedule I set for myself, but I figure I should probably update whenever it's convenient. -Nighthunter97**

Chapter 7

 **Tris POV**

I know he heard my gasp, and that he saw the bags on the floor in the bedroom. A part of me was wondering how he got past Christina, who was supposed to be blocking the door. But another part of me was terrified of what he could say to me. So I decide to ignore him as best I could, and try to shove past him. He blocks my path.

"Tris.. I'm so sorry. If I had known, I would've stopped. I know I should've stayed and talked to you about it.. but I couldn't stand myself in that moment." Tobias pleads, sounding weaker than he ever has before. I hesitate, thinking that if I stay and talk to him, we could work through this. But I shake my head, and attempt to duck under his arm again. He blocks me another time.

"Tris, please, let me convince you that it was an accident. Let me convince you that I never meant for that to happen. Please, it's killing me not knowing what to do, or how to help, or if this means the end of our relationship. Please, just stay and talk to me for five minutes." He begs, and my eyes begin to fill with tears. I hate seeing him in pain, but I don't know if I should comfort him. He might take that gesture as forgiveness.

Tears run down my face as I make my decision. I shove him out of the way, put my bags on my shoulders, and walk out of the apartment, with the intention to start my life over.

 **It's short, I know. I just know I need to update this story. Next chapter, Tobias POV. Get ready, lot's of drama will happen. I hope you liked this. Please review for suggestions/comments. Thanks for reading! - Nighthunter97**


	9. Chapter 8

**3\. Months. I'm so sorry! I've been brutally murdered by school. I was planning on updating earlier, but then the FUCKING ELECTION HAPPENED. Like, dude, no pressure there America. BUT, before you hang me from a ceiling fan, this is a new chapter. Sooo…. Yeah. LETS GOOOOOOOOOO! -Nighthunter97**

Chapter 8

 **Tobias POV**

The second she pushed me away and ran out the door was the second my heart stopped beating. I mean, not literally, but it felt like it. I should've just walked out the second I heard her gasp, but I had to try and talk to her. And I failed. Now I've lost her. Forever.

My heart is gone.

 **Okay… so i know what you are thinking….. NIGHTHUNTER ARE YOU FLIPPING CRAZY? YOU LEAVE US FOR 3 MONTHS AND ONLY GIVE US THIS MEASLY PARAGRAPH? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?**

 **My answer: **cowers in fear against the wall, shielding face from damage** This paragraph is to prepare you for the time jump! YES. I said it…. TIME JUMP. Next chapter will be a couple years ahead. Prepare! Bye.. don't find me and kill me…. I actually value my life…. - Nighthunter97**


	10. NOT A CHAPTER - SORRY

Hey guys…. So I have decided to rewrite this story, because I'm not proud of it and feel it needs some definite improvement. I won't keep the old chapters up, but instead I will replace them with new, HOPEFULLY better ones. I hope you understand. Thanks.


	11. (Remaster) 1

**Surprise! Guess who's back? So here is the new version for Learning to Love Again, and on second thought, I left the original chapters up, just so that people can see how much I've HOPEFULLY improved, and compare them to see how much they like this story better. Remember, this is the very beginning, the morning after Tris' -ahem- incident. Without further ado, here is Chapter 1 of Learning to Love Again - Remastered.**

Chapter 1

 **Tris POV**

"-swear to God, if you did anything to her, I will kick your ass. She never comes to me in the middle of the night, tears streaming down her face like Niagara Falls." Christina's voice breaks through the fog clouding my brain. I register the fact that I'm lying on a couch, which would explain the fact why my neck hurts so much. The she-devil herself is at the door, practically screaming at whoever is on the other side. I sit up, groaning at the pain in my neck, and my blonde hair falls down around me in a curtain.

Christina hears my groan, and turns to face me, but that gives the person on the other side of the door a chance to shove past her. He pushes my best friend out of the way, and as his blue eyes meet mine, the memories flood back to me in a tidal wave. I pale, trying to keep my calm, but the tears fall anyway. Feeling after feeling rushes through me, _betrayal, hurt, anger, sadness_ ….. The list goes on and on. I drop my head in my hands, while my tears trail a track down my face.

Tobias takes long strides over to me, and drops on the ground next to me, on his knees. He places a hand on my back, and I tense up. As he prepares to drop his hand on his own, I shove him, tears running down my face. I launch myself out of the couch, but the pain between my legs is horrifying, and drop to my knees on the ground.

"Don't touch me!" I shriek, curling into a ball. I distantly hear Christina shouting at Four, telling him to 'get the hell out of my apartment' and him shouting back that he doesn't know what's wrong and he wants to find out. Tears are rolling down my face faster than the speed of light, and I can't control it. How can he not know what he did? He couldn't have been that drunk last night… But if he was, it would explain why he did what he did. I can't stand it, the thought of him doing this to me.

"Tris!" The sound of my name breaks me out of the depressed/trance like state I'm in. "What happened?" Christina crouches down beside me, but doesn't put her hands on me. For that, I'm grateful. I shake my head. _No, no, no. Please don't make me tell you._

"Tris. He's gone. He left." Her brown eyes meet my blue ones, but she still keeps her hands off of me. I'm still shaking my head, and Christina sighs, clearly getting the message that I'm not going to tell her what happened. It's too painful to relive. My tears have almost stopped, but I have a slight ache in my head from crying during my panic attack.

"Can I have some water?" I croak out, throat dry and scratchy. Just give me a few minutes alone, I wanted to say, but didn't want to seem rude. Abnegation as ever, even in times of pain.

Christina is silent as she walks to her small kitchen, and fills a cup of water. I wipe my face with my black t-shirt as she comes back in the room. My best friend, and savior, hands me the cup of water, and I gladly take it from her. I drink all of it at once, and immediately feel relief from the dull throbbing in my head. I should tell her, she deserves to know.

 _Tell her._

I can't.

 _You can, just tell her._

It's too painful.

 _It will get it off your chest. You can trust Christina._

Are you sure?

 _She's your best friend. Don't go into all the details. Just tell her._

I take a deep breath, and heave myself back onto the couch and wrap my arms around my knees. Christina throws a blanket around my shoulders, and I sigh.

"Last night," I begin. "Four came home drunk."

Christina cringes. I'm sure she remembers the last time Four was drunk, hanging precariously around the pit, bottle in hand, and almost telling me how he feels. Those fake feelings, clearly.

"Zeke was supposed to be watching how much he drank, but obviously he wasn't. I'm fine with one or two beers, but I'm sure Four had more than that last night. He was leaning against the door, and hitting it with his head, trying to knock with the wrong part of his body, the drunk asshole." I vent, adding on the 'asshole' part at the last second, because that's exactly what he is. He never truly cared about me. If he did, he wouldn't have done what he did.

I can tell Christina is trying very hard not to interrupt, but I shrug at her to let her know she can say whatever she wants.

"Shauna texted me earlier last night, and said that Zeke was drunk off his ass too. So much for boyfriends-" I flinch. I don't consider Four my boyfriend anymore. "Staying sober."

I take another deep breath, and prepare to tell her the rest of my story, knowing full well it's going to be difficult, there will be tears shed, and rage felt.

 **Alright! So I feel like this chapter is a lot better than the original few. I can't promise when the next upload will be, due to exams coming up, and the rapid studying that will soon come, so with all this said, thank you guys for reading! -Nighthunter97**


	12. I'm so sorry

hey guys... i'm so sorry to say this... i'm moving my stories over to Wattpad now, under the name of midnighthunter97... i'm so sorry. my time here on has been amazing, but after a couple experiences on wattpad (such as the easier uploading process, sorry FF) and the communities, i feel like i need to transfer my stories over to that platform. Learning to Love Again will most definitely be there, and maybe The Bone Chilling Promise... I'm not sure.

but thank you guys so much, and I hope you understand where I'm coming from here... thank you.

:)))) - Nighthunter97


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